Jon can tell that almost as soon as the sound returns to his ringing ears, as soon as the eyes he'd automatically closed open themselves again. He doesn't turn his head back to face Elias, but neither does Elias drop his hand from where it's still suspended in the air. Neither of them move.
Elias has done many terrible things in his time. But he has never struck his Archivist. Never struck Jon, not even when he's had due cause to do so. No matter how they've argued over the centuries, Elias - Jonah - has never cast harm upon him directly.
Except now that's no longer true. And maybe it's the final straw, or maybe the final straw was the argument itself, but Jon finds he no longer wants to be in the Archives. In the Institute. Around Elias. He can't exactly quit, but he can run to the farthest corner of the Earth and stay there until Elias pulls his head out of his ass and apologizes.
"Jon."
Elias finally speaks. He looks... shaken. Jon takes a step back, turns.
"Jon?"
He moves towards the door, closing the numerous eyes along his back and shoulders as he goes. Closing all his extra senses down, locking himself out of reach of Elias, even as he can feel the man frantically scrambling after the connection like a drowning man chasing after the last bit of land before the water seizes him. "Jon, wait--"
Jon doesn't wait. He doesn't stop, and he doesn't let Elias get another word in. He throws the door open, and slams it shut behind him, and strides off into the night.
By the time Elias runs outside, he's gone.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
He stays away for three months.
In the grand scheme of things, it's not that long of a time. The world turns, the Entities feed, the things that were once human beings continue to scream and cry and thrash and suffer as the universe reshapes itself to fit everything. Jon drifts from one place to the next, never staying long, never interfering in the natural order of whatever Entity has seized onto the populace. He keeps his mind shut, keeps his eyes quiet, and even if he can feel Elias pounding at the mental door between them, scratching and begging through action to be allowed inside again, he keeps it shut.
Let his Heart suffer for the pain he has caused. For the trust that has survived all of this, a trust that shouldn't have survived. A trust Martin tells him he's foolish to have, and he knows is foolish to have, but he can't stop himself having it.
Elias has broken faith with him. So Jon lets him scrabble and scream and wallow in the silence between them, as he drifts and feeds and lets himself turn the argument over in his mind.
Sometimes he drifts back into the Eye's territory, or skirts it. Never long enough for Elias to lock his location, to Call him to his side. By the second month, there's a terrible sense of anger brewing behind the door, but that only lasts until he drifts close to the Eye again, and then the anger gives way to a rush of relief and panic so sharp it steals his breath from his lungs. He's gone again soon enough, and the relief and panic gives way to a horrible ache of dread, so raw and open it would make him weep if he hadn't hardened his heart early on this.
It's so strange, to think of the Elias that looks at Jon like he is the world as the same Elias who once murdered a man with a pipe and then called it an overreaction. That the Elias in his head, having entire swings of emotion about the disappearance of his Archivist, is the same man who once shot Gertrude Robinson, another of his Archivists, dead. The same man who regularly goes from calling Jon darling and dearest to getting into nose-to-nose snarling fights with him, where they look into one another and Know until one of them backs down. Fights that have never escalated beyond that.
He doesn't know what to do, now that it has. He's always... relied on Elias to be that one cornerstone that didn't try to lash out at him in this new world while he got his footing.
By the third month, he thinks he has an idea of what to do. He can't ignore the Archives, and he can't truly even really ignore Elias - the Eye tends to get upset if its key players are not all on the same page, and things are already tricky enough as is. But he can make Elias work to earn his trust again.
So when he drifts back to the Archives, and Elias makes an immediate beeline for him, stark relief and terror and anger all balling up behind his gaze as he practically yells Jon's name, Jon turns on his heel and heads for his office, knowing Elias will follow. The door shuts behind him, and then Elias is gripping his shoulders, turning him about, and demanding, "Where did you go?!" while wrapping himself around Jon like he's the Flesh and not the Eye. Jon would normally return the grip, press their cheeks together, inhale Elias' scent. But this time he keeps his head turned away and his hands down at his sides, and doesn't open the door between their minds.
Elias pulls back. "Jon?"
Jon doesn't meet his gaze. And when Elias tries, Jon just turns his head again. "Is there something you want, Mr. Magnus?" he asks, evenly, and tries not to feel the satisfaction when Elias twitches like he's been slapped his own self.
"...I see. I suppose I deserve that, after what I... I'm sorry, Jon. I had no right, and I never meant to-- but that doesn't matter, does it? I'm sorry. I won't do it again, please believe that, if nothing else." He steps back, letting Jon go, and its a fight for Jon to keep his resolve as the sense of presence behind the door between them gradually backs away, until Jon can barely feel Elias, even as the man stands in the literal door to his office, and smiles at him.
"Thank you," Elias says softly, and there's that gentle worship in his eyes again, a sad understanding that makes Jon ache. "For coming back. I'll see you later Jon."
And then the door shuts, and Jon breathes out, knowing his message and terms have been received loud and clear. But still it hurts. It hurts and it'll keep hurting until Jon trusts him again. Maybe the distance will be good. Maybe it'll put some of that foolish trust to rest at last, and the paranoia and anger will come back.
Far more likely it won't, and Jon will go on trusting the man who made the world like it is, even as everyone outside burns and dies and suffers and the Entities drink the fear down and grow ever-stronger.
But that's the price you pay when you refuse to become a monster, he supposes.
Re: Prompt: Elias/Jon, face slap
Jon can tell that almost as soon as the sound returns to his ringing ears, as soon as the eyes he'd automatically closed open themselves again. He doesn't turn his head back to face Elias, but neither does Elias drop his hand from where it's still suspended in the air. Neither of them move.
Elias has done many terrible things in his time. But he has never struck his Archivist. Never struck Jon, not even when he's had due cause to do so. No matter how they've argued over the centuries, Elias - Jonah - has never cast harm upon him directly.
Except now that's no longer true. And maybe it's the final straw, or maybe the final straw was the argument itself, but Jon finds he no longer wants to be in the Archives. In the Institute. Around Elias. He can't exactly quit, but he can run to the farthest corner of the Earth and stay there until Elias pulls his head out of his ass and apologizes.
"Jon."
Elias finally speaks. He looks... shaken. Jon takes a step back, turns.
"Jon?"
He moves towards the door, closing the numerous eyes along his back and shoulders as he goes. Closing all his extra senses down, locking himself out of reach of Elias, even as he can feel the man frantically scrambling after the connection like a drowning man chasing after the last bit of land before the water seizes him. "Jon, wait--"
Jon doesn't wait. He doesn't stop, and he doesn't let Elias get another word in. He throws the door open, and slams it shut behind him, and strides off into the night.
By the time Elias runs outside, he's gone.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
He stays away for three months.
In the grand scheme of things, it's not that long of a time. The world turns, the Entities feed, the things that were once human beings continue to scream and cry and thrash and suffer as the universe reshapes itself to fit everything. Jon drifts from one place to the next, never staying long, never interfering in the natural order of whatever Entity has seized onto the populace. He keeps his mind shut, keeps his eyes quiet, and even if he can feel Elias pounding at the mental door between them, scratching and begging through action to be allowed inside again, he keeps it shut.
Let his Heart suffer for the pain he has caused. For the trust that has survived all of this, a trust that shouldn't have survived. A trust Martin tells him he's foolish to have, and he knows is foolish to have, but he can't stop himself having it.
Elias has broken faith with him. So Jon lets him scrabble and scream and wallow in the silence between them, as he drifts and feeds and lets himself turn the argument over in his mind.
Sometimes he drifts back into the Eye's territory, or skirts it. Never long enough for Elias to lock his location, to Call him to his side. By the second month, there's a terrible sense of anger brewing behind the door, but that only lasts until he drifts close to the Eye again, and then the anger gives way to a rush of relief and panic so sharp it steals his breath from his lungs. He's gone again soon enough, and the relief and panic gives way to a horrible ache of dread, so raw and open it would make him weep if he hadn't hardened his heart early on this.
It's so strange, to think of the Elias that looks at Jon like he is the world as the same Elias who once murdered a man with a pipe and then called it an overreaction. That the Elias in his head, having entire swings of emotion about the disappearance of his Archivist, is the same man who once shot Gertrude Robinson, another of his Archivists, dead. The same man who regularly goes from calling Jon darling and dearest to getting into nose-to-nose snarling fights with him, where they look into one another and Know until one of them backs down. Fights that have never escalated beyond that.
He doesn't know what to do, now that it has. He's always... relied on Elias to be that one cornerstone that didn't try to lash out at him in this new world while he got his footing.
By the third month, he thinks he has an idea of what to do. He can't ignore the Archives, and he can't truly even really ignore Elias - the Eye tends to get upset if its key players are not all on the same page, and things are already tricky enough as is. But he can make Elias work to earn his trust again.
So when he drifts back to the Archives, and Elias makes an immediate beeline for him, stark relief and terror and anger all balling up behind his gaze as he practically yells Jon's name, Jon turns on his heel and heads for his office, knowing Elias will follow. The door shuts behind him, and then Elias is gripping his shoulders, turning him about, and demanding, "Where did you go?!" while wrapping himself around Jon like he's the Flesh and not the Eye. Jon would normally return the grip, press their cheeks together, inhale Elias' scent. But this time he keeps his head turned away and his hands down at his sides, and doesn't open the door between their minds.
Elias pulls back. "Jon?"
Jon doesn't meet his gaze. And when Elias tries, Jon just turns his head again. "Is there something you want, Mr. Magnus?" he asks, evenly, and tries not to feel the satisfaction when Elias twitches like he's been slapped his own self.
"...I see. I suppose I deserve that, after what I... I'm sorry, Jon. I had no right, and I never meant to-- but that doesn't matter, does it? I'm sorry. I won't do it again, please believe that, if nothing else." He steps back, letting Jon go, and its a fight for Jon to keep his resolve as the sense of presence behind the door between them gradually backs away, until Jon can barely feel Elias, even as the man stands in the literal door to his office, and smiles at him.
"Thank you," Elias says softly, and there's that gentle worship in his eyes again, a sad understanding that makes Jon ache. "For coming back. I'll see you later Jon."
And then the door shuts, and Jon breathes out, knowing his message and terms have been received loud and clear. But still it hurts. It hurts and it'll keep hurting until Jon trusts him again. Maybe the distance will be good. Maybe it'll put some of that foolish trust to rest at last, and the paranoia and anger will come back.
Far more likely it won't, and Jon will go on trusting the man who made the world like it is, even as everyone outside burns and dies and suffers and the Entities drink the fear down and grow ever-stronger.
But that's the price you pay when you refuse to become a monster, he supposes.