Prompt Post: The Magnus Archives #1
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3. Warning for spoilers and subjects such as non-con, incest, underage, character death and worms is highly recommended, but not mandatory.
4. Crossover prompts between Rusty Quill Gaming and The Magnus Archives may be posted to both posts.
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7. While it should go without saying (kink meme and all) please be advised that much of the content here may not be appropriate for individuals under 18.
8. Update: All prompts can be filled by more than one person. Two cakes (or three, or four) are always appreciated.
While spoiler warnings are not required, if you would like to spoiler cut anything, you can use the following code:
Prompting Guidelines
1. The prompt should begin with "Prompt:"
2. The fill should begin with "Fill:". Otherwise there should be no change to the title.
2. Include the names of the character(s) or pairing(s) in the title, followed by the kink or trope if applicable. Pairings should be formatted A/B(/C/D).
3. If you would like to provide warnings, please put them in the first line of the comment to prevent the titles from getting too long.
And example title: Prompt: Jon/Plant monster, sex pollen
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AO3 Collection
1. All comments to the meme must be anonymous. Linking to fills on AO3/Tumblr/website of your choice is allowed, but comments here must still be posted anon.
2. Concrit is welcome if the author requests it, but character bashing, kink shaming, and hijacking threads by derailing prompts with contrary comments or asking for additions to the prompt are not allowed.
3. Warning for spoilers and subjects such as non-con, incest, underage, character death and worms is highly recommended, but not mandatory.
4. Crossover prompts between Rusty Quill Gaming and The Magnus Archives may be posted to both posts.
5. Please link all fills to the fill post.
6. Don't be an asshole. Mods reserve the right to freeze, screen or delete at their discretion.
7. While it should go without saying (kink meme and all) please be advised that much of the content here may not be appropriate for individuals under 18.
8. Update: All prompts can be filled by more than one person. Two cakes (or three, or four) are always appreciated.
While spoiler warnings are not required, if you would like to spoiler cut anything, you can use the following code:
<div tabindex="-1"><b>spoiler title</b><div>Some spoilery content.</div></div>
Prompting Guidelines
1. The prompt should begin with "Prompt:"
2. The fill should begin with "Fill:". Otherwise there should be no change to the title.
2. Include the names of the character(s) or pairing(s) in the title, followed by the kink or trope if applicable. Pairings should be formatted A/B(/C/D).
3. If you would like to provide warnings, please put them in the first line of the comment to prevent the titles from getting too long.
And example title: Prompt: Jon/Plant monster, sex pollen
Links
Ask a Mod
Fills Post
Chat and Off-Topic Discussion
AO3 Collection
Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 1/3
Date: 2021-05-18 09:38 pm (UTC)Tim waited for the door to close before giving Sasha a significant look and leading her to the kitchen. “So.”
“No. No, no, no, you are not dragging me into this.”
“Come on, Sasha,” Tim wheedled. “You have to see it.”
“Just because he brings Jon his tea, doesn’t mean anything. You know Jon wouldn’t leave his office for anything less than an actual fire.” Tim just gave her a look. Sasha sighed. “Alright, maybe. And maybe it’s cute? Like a puppy sniffing after a cat? But Jon’s so cruel to him, and Martin just… takes it and then makes him tea and… I dunno.”
Tim picked up his tea and took a victory sip. “The way I see it, is we have two options. The first is to make Jonathan Sims fall in love with Martin Blackwood.”
“Impossible.”
“Fair. I like the guy, but I legitimately don’t know if he’s capable of computing that human emotion we call love.”
“He’s not a robot, he’s worse. He’s middle management.”
Tim laughed. “Like you weren’t gunning for the job.”
“I’d have been one of those fun managers that remembers birthdays but can be discrete about it.”
“You’re sure we can’t set up a mutiny?”
“Not without Martin, and he’s a lost cause.”
“True. Speaking of, second option is to help Martin get over Jon.”
Sasha leaned forward. “Ooh, I like that one much more. You’re sure he’s gay and not bi?”
“He’s checked me out and not you. I’m pretty sure.”
“I’m not everyone’s type.”
“Sounds fake, but okay. I’d be fine with taking him out to a gay bar, but that seems a little too… obvious?”
Sasha snorted. “Oh, are we trying to be sneaky here?”
“Yes! He’s got a thing for Jon and we want to ease him out of it, preferably without him even noticing. Hopefully, Jon never catches on, and we never have to see Martin awkwardly confessing to Jon, or Jon awkwardly rejecting Martin, or both of them awkwardly pretending Martin’s crush doesn’t exist.”
“Alright, so a regular bar. Can you invite one of your friends from gym?”
Tim made a face. “If Jon’s Martin’s type, none of my friends would be. I have some guys from my old job, but I kinda… burnt some bridges when I left.”
Sasha’s entire face softened. “I’m sure they’d understand, after what happened with Danny…”
“Yeah, except I really don’t want to talk to them about it.”
“Alright. Well, we can use your patented ‘who do they check out’ method and push Martin towards any decent-looking guys who notice him.”
“Easy enough. I can scope out targets while carrying on a conversation half-drunk in my sleep.”
“You charmer.”
“You love me.”
“You–” Sasha’s retort was cut off as Martin left Jon’s office, his cheeks flushed and his eyes lowered. “Dammit.”
Tim’s gaze followed hers. “Yeah. He looks rough.”
“I have some chocolate,” Sasha said conversationally, loud enough for Martin to overhear. “If I eat it all, I’ll be sick, and I will eat it all if left to my own devices.”
“Sorry, Sasha,” Tim said. “Low carb today. Hit up Martin?”
“He’s with Jon – oh, hi, Martin!” Sasha gave Martin a sunny smile. “Save me from overdosing on chocolate?”
Martin returned her smile with an equally cheerful one. “Sure, thanks! Um. Should we ask Jon…”
“Have you ever seen him eat anything sweet?” Tim asked and Martin flushed and looked down. He had it bad. “Yeah, exactly. Besides, he wants chocolate, he can come down from his ivory tower and get some.”
“Stop volunteering my chocolate,” Sasha said. “It’s just for me and Martin. Chocolate buddies.”
Martin’s grin was much easier now. “I’ve finished my tea but – Sasha! You haven’t even touched yours!”
“Sorry, distracted,” Sasha said, gulping down her cup. “All done. God, that’s good. Right, chocolate!” She marched Martin over to her desk and rummaged through it for her emergency period chocolates. “Here. Get it away from me before I succumb to its evil wiles.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Martin said. “Thanks for… this.”
“You’re welcome,” Sasha said, sighing as Martin returned to his desk.
“See?” Tim said softly, nearly whispering into her ear. “It’s pretty dire.”
“And he knows it.” Sasha whispered back. “He’s going to waste away pining for that man, and he knows it.”
“We can’t let that happen,” Tim said. “Martin deserves better.”
Before Sasha could answer, Jon stuck his head out of his office. “Martin! You left your cup in here.”
“Sorry, Jon!” Martin called, immediately jumping up from his desk to rush into Jon’s office.
“We’ll take him out Friday night,” Sasha said after the door closed behind him. “He’s more likely to successfully pull on a weekend, and it’d be too awkward to ask him out Saturday.”
“Right. It’ll be easy. We’ll spend the first bit buttering him up, then send him home with someone halfway decent. He realizes that there are way less acerbic fish in the sea and that the fish like him back and that fishing is actually fun.”
“So is actually eating what you catch instead of throwing it back after a one-night stand.”
“We’re not talking about me,” Tim said easily. “Also, that depends on the fish. Also, we’re going to have to work out a secret set of signals so that any potential fish aren’t scared away by thinking either one of us is with Martin.”
Martin slipped out of Jon’s office, avoiding eye contact with both Tim and Sasha as he carried two empty tea cups to the kitchen. Sasha sighed. “Are we doing the right thing? I mean, Martin seems like the sort of guy who needs a relationship, not just a good shag.”
“Well, we can’t actually get him to connect with anyone on anything other than a superficial level, so I’ll take what I can get. Besides, don’t underestimate the benefits of a good shag. Just knowing there’s someone out there who’ll actually like him back and give him the time of day should help him get over whatever he has for Jon.”
“I hope you’re right,” Sasha said. “If this keeps up, I don’t know how long I can tolerate watching Martin break himself for someone who really doesn’t even seem to notice.”
“I don’t see how he misses it. It’s right under his nose! Just unobservant, I guess.”
“Who is?” Martin asked, coming up behind them. Sasha jumped a little, but Tim managed to plaster on a bright smile.
“A mutual acquaintance from research,” Tim said, technically not even lying. “Say, what’re you doing Friday night?”
Martin looked startled. “Oh. I. Um. Nothing?”
“Great! Come out with Sasha and me. There’s a new place we were hoping to check out.”
“I, uh. Okay?” Martin’s expression was still uncertain, but there was a small smile creeping over his face. “Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks!”
Sasha grinned encouragingly. “Awesome. Bring something nice to change into. We’re making a proper night of it.”
“Sure, I have a few things.” Martin’s smile dimmed slightly. “Uh, have you invited Jon yet?”
“Nah,” Tim said, and Martin looked relieved. “We were thinking of making it an assistants-only kind of outing.”
“O-oh,” Martin said. “I just thought… I mean, if you were worried about him saying no, I could…”
“We want to go out with you,” Sasha said. “We’ll invite Jon along with the three of us some other time. No need to throw yourself on the sword of Jon’s allergy to fun.”
“I was just–”
“He never likes this things anyway,” Tim said. “Remember your birthday? Him rambling on about effulgent or whatever?”
“Emulsifiers,” Martin said. “And I just think he likes sharing knowledge?”
Sasha clasped Martin’s hands in hers. “Martin. Think about it. Do you really want to have Jon hovering over you while you get truly and sincerely blitzed?”
Martin flushed. “I mean. Not in public, I guess.”
“I don’t think he’s less of a buzz-kill in private,” Tim said. “We’ll put in a full day’s work for him, no slacking off, but the evening will be ours, Martin. Who knows? Magic might happen!”
“I… I guess.” Martin looked between Sasha’s encouraging expression and Tim’s charming grin. “Yeah, I think that’d be nice. Um. I have… I should check something with Jon. Something job-related, not anything… recreational. I’ll uh… thanks. For thinking of me. I’m really looking forward to Friday.” For the third time in less than half an hour, Martin ducked back into Jon’s office.
“So,” Sasha said after about a minute. “D’you think he’s ratting us out?”
“Martin would never! Besides, we aren’t doing anything wrong.”
“I dunno, I just. I feel like this should feel better? Like we’re helping him, but I just feel like we’re tricking him.”
“Both can be true at the same time.”
“I know, I’m just imaging you and Martin pulling this on me, and thinking about all the ways I’d have to hide your bodies after I violently murdered the two of you.”
“Sure, okay, but hear me out. In this scenario you, Sasha James, are infatuated with Jonathan Sims.”
“…alright, that’s a fair point.”
Tim grinned. “It’ll be fine. Martin’s a great guy, and he deserves to have someone appreciate that.” The sound of a chair scraping across the floor followed by a dull thud could be heard coming from Jon’s office. “…what was that?”
Sasha cocked her head. “No screams. Should we check it out or pretend to work?”
Tim was already moving towards the office, frowning as he focused, trying to hear anything else. Jon’s office was hardly soundproofed, but there were enough books and files strewn around that the stone walls didn’t echo as resonantly as they could. “I can’t hear anything.” He hesitated at the door. “Should I?”
Sasha shrugged and nodded. Tim hesitated a moment longer before knocking on the door. “Everything okay in there?”
“Fine!” Martin’s voice, slightly panicky, rang out. “Everything’s fine!”
Tim shot Sasha a look and opened the door. Martin stood there, looking frazzled, standing over a fallen chair. Jon looked exasperated, his face slightly flushed with anger. At least he hadn’t taken it out on Martin yet. Tim immediately switched from conspirator mode to conciliator mode.
“How on earth did that happen?” he asked cheerfully. Martin stammered, but Tim didn’t let him form an answer. “Good thing nothing was damaged, isn’t it?” He bent and picked up the chair, placing it back in its usual position. “There, all fixed. No harm, no foul, right?”
“Did you need something, Tim?” Jon said, instead of thanking him, which was about par for the course.
Tim turned his grin on full power. “Nope, just heard a ruckus, and thought I should investigate. It’s kind of my job, you know.”
“Well,” Jon said, his face still flushed, but managing his usual severe, slightly constipated, expression. “It actually isn’t. Research into actual phenomena is, however, and I suggest you return to it.”
“Right-o! Coming, Martin?”
Martin’s eyes darted between Jon and Tim. “I suppose so. Uh. Sorry, Jon?”
“Don’t be sorry,” Jon said, so severely it was almost a snap. “Just… get back to work.”
“Right.” Martin gazed at Jon with such open affection that Tim couldn’t help but grab his hand and drag him away. It was worse than they’d thought.
Sasha immediately took over Martin duty when Tim closed the door behind them, one hand on Martin’s shoulder, the other grasping his elbow. “You okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” Martin said with a small laugh. “Just a little embarrassed, I guess. It was… clumsy of me.”
Sasha and Tim exchanged a knowing look over Martin’s head. “As long as no one was hurt,” Sasha said.
Martin flushed a little and shook his head. “Nope. No one was hurt in there. Just the chair.”
“Did you stand up too fast or something?” Sasha asked. Martin’s flush deepened. “No, it doesn’t matter. We’re just making a big deal out of nothing. We should really…”
“Get back to work,” Martin said, nodding quickly. “Yup. Sorry about all the commotion.”
“It’s fine,” Sasha said. She smiled at Martin as he took his seat before turning to Tim with an expression of desperation and taking out her phone. Tim was quick enough to pick up on the cue and the moment he was seated at his desk, he took out his. It wasn’t long before he got Sasha’s first message.
You’re sure there’s no one you can call who we can just “coincidentally” meet at the bar? No one who’ll sweep Martin off his feet?
No one off the top of my head. Like I said, I don’t think they’d be Martin’s type any more than I am.
You’re not everyone’s type???
Ha ha. What about you? No surly bookish gay nerds in your friends group?
No. I’m cool, remember?
Sasha, I love you, but look around. You might be cool, but bookish nerds are your wheelhouse.
Not surly ones. Except for Jon. Unless he breaks Martin’s heart, then he’s dead to me.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Even if he doesn’t break Martin’s heart, I’m not sure how much more of this one-sided pining I can take.
You’re such a romantic.
Baby, I know.
If this doesn’t work, do you have any other ideas?
I thought about signing him up for dating apps. I THINK I could pull it off as a kind of thoughtlessly cruel prank, but I’d rather not.
No, that doesn’t sound like a good idea. I’m sure we’ll think of something else.
Maybe we won’t have to. Maybe Martin will meet someone and they’ll hit it off, and we’ll be annoyed by him constantly messaging them and giggling throughout the day.
It’s better than this.
Agreed.
They had a plan. It could work. There was no reason to think it wouldn’t. And, honestly, if it didn’t, that would mean that they’d spent an evening hanging out with Martin for no reason. Not the worst fate.
Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 2/3
Date: 2021-05-18 09:38 pm (UTC)Tim evaluated each of the scanners, then shook his head. “Let’s find a table.” He grabbed Sasha’s arm and pulled her in beside him, leaving the other side open for Martin. Martin sat down across from Tim, leaving the seat next to him open and accessible.
“This looks like a nice place,” Martin said. It was perhaps a bit generous. The music was bland American pop-rock and the drink selection wasn’t great. Tim ordered a round and an appetizer for the table and scoped out the room again.
Sasha took over the burden of socializing. “So, Martin. What exactly do you do when you’re not digging up details on non-existent cemeteries or decades-old spooky encounters?”
Martin smiled. “I walk a lot. There are a bunch of nice parks just a few stops away from my place, and I kind of cycle between them. I’ve also been reading a bit – it feels like I missed out on some parts of my education, and I kinda want to catch up? Oh, and I write, sometimes.”
“What do you write?”
“Little things. Um. Poetry mostly.”
“Anything you’d like to share with the class?” Tim asked.
Martin flushed. “I… it’s not very good? Anyway, what do you two do?”
“Tim goes to the gym,” Sasha said.
“Sasha has, like, three book clubs,” Tim said. Martin lit up with interest. “You don’t want to join them. There’s a certain density of single women that can be hard to take.”
“It’s not that bad,” Sasha said, taking a sip, then frowning. “Actually, yeah. It’s that bad. I mean, it’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but it’s… I also run a weekend day-camp in the fall. They could always use writing mentors.”
Martin grimaced. “Like I said, I’m not very good. And I don’t know if I’d be any good with kids.”
“You are made of sweetness and light, you’d be great,” Sasha said. “But I understand if you don’t want to. Those little beasts can be a handful.”
“I did not know that about you,” Tim said. “I never thought you’d have an interest in kids.”
“Not my own,” Sasha said. “Ugh. But other people’s kids are fine for a short amount of time.”
“Do you want kids?” Martin asked Tim.
Tim shrugged. “Sure, maybe. Actually, yeah. It’d be nice, I think, with the right partner. You?”
Martin shook his head. “No, I think I’m with Sasha. Kids are great, but one of my own… I’d be too afraid of messing up, you know?”
“I’m pretty sure all parents are, and they all mess up to a degree,” Tim said, his smile fading as Martin started looking sick. “Hey, you alright, there?” He kept his voice light. “Don’t tell me you’re a cheep drunk.”
“No,” Martin said, a little tremulously. “No. I… actually, I’ll get the next round.” He ignored the half-full pints in front of Tim and Sasha and headed towards the bar.
Sasha frowned after him. “Did we do something wrong?”
“Don’t think so,” Tim said. “We were keeping it pretty light, I think. Talking about hobbies and such. But clearly we should change the subject.”
“Anyone interesting?”
Tim grimaced. “Not really.” He cocked his head towards an older man drinking alone. “He’s been eying Martin, but I don’t like the cut of his jib.”
Sasha looked Tim dead on. “The what?”
“You heard me. Although, if Martin has a thing for Jon, maybe older men are his type?”
Sasha snorted. “They were born months apart.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I know, right? Martin’s got the youthful energy, but Jon’s not really any older. On the other hand, I think Jon was just born old.”
“I don’t think we should talk about Jon if he’s not here,” Martin said, returning with the drinks. “Seems… disrespectful.”
Both Sasha and Tim snorted at that. “Disrespectful?” Tim said. “Martin, the most common reason to go out for drinks after work is to complain about your boss. It’s tradition!”
“Yeah, but Jon’s not–”
“D’you think he dresses like that because it makes him look like the English Lit professor who marked your grammar over your content, or does he just not know?” Sasha asked, interrupting Martin.
Tim laughed. “I honestly think he thinks it’s what he should wear, despite the fact that no one at the institute, not even Elias, wears anything like that.”
“Maybe it’s just what he’s comfortable wearing,” Martin said.
“I think he’s trying to dress to match his personality,” Sasha said. “Uptight, superficially respectable, beige.”
Tim laughed. “Jon’s not beige. Have you heard him going off on anyone? He’s more… puce.”
“Puce.”
“Yeah, like a dark reddish brown that somehow sounds like an off shade of green.”
Sasha burst out laughing, and even Martin gave a slightly scandalized giggle. “I’m looking that up,” Sasha declared, then started giggling again. “It’s named after the French word for ‘flea’, apparently.”
“Appropriate,” Tim said. “He’s persistent, irritating, and you can’t squish him, no matter how hard you try.”
“Yeah?” Martin said. “You’re telling me you tried?”
Tim scoffed. “Nah. Why bother? He’s all skin and bones, not soft and comfy like you.”
There was a moment of silence as Martin flushed. “Um. Well. Boney’s not so bad.”
His attention split between shit-talking with his friends and scoping out potential candidates to take Martin home, Tim missed the subtle cues. “We should use our research skills to find someone who’s actually hugged the guy and get a full report.”
Sasha nudged Tim. “Or, we could just talk about what kind of guys are squishable. For example, Andy in IT.”
Tim frowned and looked at Martin’s face before brightening. “Sure, Andy’s a dish.” He squeezed Sasha’s hand in thanks for stopping him before he went too far. “Thoughts, Martin?”
“He’s had a girlfriend for over two years.”
“How is that relevant? He still has those lovely shoulders…”
“It’s relevant because she probably wouldn’t approve!”
Tim and Sasha laughed. “We’re not going to accost him, Martin!” Sasha said. “We’re just appreciating him. I mean, you have to admit, he’s nice to look at.”
“So are you,” Martin said. “So’s Tim!”
“True, true,” Tim said. “We archival assistants are a pretty terrific threesome.”
“You’re leaving out Jon again.”
“Jon is…” Tim tried to look for the right words, five shots and two pints into the evening. “I guess if he’s not frowning or talking, he’s okay.”
Sasha shrugged. “Maybe if he dressed better and we’d never met and it was a dimly lit club?”
“He’s fine!” Martin insisted. “He’s just as nice-looking as any of us! Nicer!”
This hadn’t been the plan. The plan had been to distract Martin from Jon, not make him obsess over him.
“Look,” Tim said. “Jon is… probably someone’s type.” Martin’s type, if the one-sided pining was anything to go by. “And that’s fine. But I’ve known him for a couple of years, and I just don’t think anyone’s his type.”
It was as gentle as he could be, in letting Martin down. He didn’t expect the way Martin snickered, like he was enjoying a joke only he understood.
Sasha, probably the most sober person present, shot Tim a worried look. Tim shrugged back, completely clueless.
“Hey,” a cute redhead with bouncy curls and a shirt cut just a little too low and hugging her torso just a little too tight came up to their table. “There aren’t any free seats left in this joint. Mind if I join you?” She was looking at Martin.
Martin smiled at her. “Sure! We were just superficially evaluating people we knew based on important traits such as shoulders and fashion sense, but we can switch to evaluating strangers in a bar with you. Apparently it’s fun!”
She looked a little uncertain, but slipped into the seat next to Martin. “Okay. My name’s Sasha.”
Sasha stared at her. “No way.” She’d been about to try to shoo her away, to leave the seat open for someone for Martin. But this… “Me too!”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“My name’s Sasha too!” The two women looked at each other and laughed. They had very different laughs. Tim shot Martin a look from across the table as they both became invisible to the Sashas.
After five minutes of trying to get a single word in edgewise while the two women shared their entire life history, Tim cocked his head for Martin to follow and they found a nice patch of wall to lean against.
“…this isn’t exactly what we’d planned for tonight,” Tim admitted.
Martin laughed. “Well, it’s hard to plan for meeting another person named Sasha. What are the odds? It’s hardly a common name like, like Michael.”
“Do we even know any Michaels?” Tim wondered aloud. Maybe someone at the gym… “No, no I meant that we’d planed to find someone for you to hook up with here.”
“Oh,” Martin said. “I’m… I’m actually okay? Thanks, though.”
“Yeah, no, you’re not. You’re pining, Martin! And not even over someone who deserves it! And… and I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that.”
Martin snickered. “Don’t worry. I don’t expect I’ll remember much tomorrow. I’ve never been this drunk before.”
“You don’t seem all that drunk.”
“I feel it, though. Don’t usually drink more than a couple of beers over a night. Jon’ll be mad.”
Tim snorted. “What? Why? Tomorrow’s Saturday and you’ll definitely sober up by Monday.”
“Yeah, but I… um… hmm… Nope.” Martin grinned. “You’re right, Tim. It’ll be fine by Monday!”
“You’re sure you don’t want to go home with anyone?” Tim asked. “I’m a pretty excellent wingman. And if you don’t like anyone here, we can try somewhere else tomorrow night.”
Martin made a show of looking around the room before settling his gaze back on Tim. “Nah. You’re just about the only one here who’d be worth the effort to pull.”
That. That was a brilliant idea! “Yeah, okay. Let’s!”
“…I’m sorry, what?”
“Come home with me! I can promise you a good time, at least, and a full English breakfast before work. We can even commute together!”
Martin laughed. “Are you, Tim Stoker, bribing me, Martin Blackwood, back to your flat?”
“Sure! Why not? I like you and you could use something to get your mind off of your unobtainable crush, and I guarantee that I make a most enjoyable distraction.”
“Oh, Tim,” Martin sighed and leaned into him. “You’re so sweet. If I could go back in time and tell my teenaged self that someone like you would be trying to make time with me, he’d punch me in the face.”
“He’d what?”
“I mean, not really. I’ve never really been a violent person… anyway, it’s killing me to turn you down.”
That… hurt. More than Tim would have expected. “Then don’t.” He forced a smile on his face. “What, you have a policy of not dating co-workers? I promise, no strings, Martin.”
“You’re sooo sweet,” Martin mumbled, and Tim could hear the slightly drunken slur threaded through his voice now. “Teenaged me would really punch me for this.”
“Alright, mate,” Tim said. “Martin-mate. Mate-in.” Maybe he’d had more than he should have as well. “Don’t be so hard on yourself just because you used to have taste.” Martin snorted. “I just wish you had something better waiting for you at home.”
“Better? Than Tim Stoker? Bite your tongue!” But Martin’s eyes went a bit dreamy, and Tim knew he was thinking about his crush on Jon. It was heartbreaking.
Fortunately, the Sashas finally noticed their absence and finished their drinks before giving up the table to join them. “And how are my boys doing?” Sasha asked, while Sasha giggled, and Tim grinned helplessly at them. They were cute together.
“We’re fine,” Martin said, generously not mentioning how he’d shot Tim down. “I’m kinda thinking of leaving, though.”
“The night’s still young,” New-Sasha said. “We could head out somewhere.” She looked Martin over and smiled. “I mean, whoever’s up for it.”
Tim wanted to tell her she was barking up the wrong tree, but… he wasn’t actually sure. He knew Martin liked men, but it was obviously possible to like both. Tim had practiced that art to perfection.
“I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m knackered,” Martin said, either gay or completely oblivious. “This was fun guys. Thanks. See you Monday?”
“See you,” Sasha said. Tim echoed her.
They both turned to New-Sasha who shrugged philosophically and turned to Tim. “You in?”
“Second choice!?” Tim said, pressing his hand to his heart. “Yeah, I’m in.” The three of them marched off in search of something more entertaining. Sasha nudged Tim and pointed to where Martin was getting on a bus, his mobile pressed against his ear, smiling wider than either of them had ever seen.
“He doesn’t look knackered,” Sasha whispered to Tim. Tim shrugged. The evening plans had been a bust, but he was willing to make the best of it. They’d try something else later.
Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-18 09:39 pm (UTC)Tim and Sasha exchanged a look as soon as the door closed behind him. “D’you think…” Tim started.
“He’s throwing himself on the sword for us,” Sasha finished, nodding. “Giving Jon something else to focus his mood on.”
“Should we… do something? Go in there and let Jon know we know he’s being a prick? Stop him from taking it out on Martin?”
Sasha shrugged. “Seems like that would make what Martin’s doing meaningless.” She hesitated. “We could just… listen at the door? And then decide?”
“Sasha! Analogue eavesdropping? How very luddite of you.”
“Old school,” Sasha said, throwing down what was definitely not a gang sign. Tim nudged her shoulder with his and they crept up to the door, leaning as close as they could without actually pressing against it.
“…romise I won’t do it again?” Martin’s voice was muffled through the door, difficult to hear.
“That’s not the point,” Jon said, his voice much more clear, his words clipped with irritation. “I’m hardly going to stop anyone from socializing outside of work hours.”
“Then what?” Martin asked. There was a long pause. “Oh, come on. Try to find the humour in it?”
“I’ve looked,” Jon said dryly. “It’s not there.”
Martin snickered. “I’d love to be able to give them a good reason to stop. No? Well then they’re probably just going to keep trying.”
“You’re enjoying this!”
“No! Well, maybe. A little. It’s nice having friends who try to take care of me.”
“I wasn’t aware you considered being pimped out by your colleagues ‘nice’,” Jon snapped. Tim gave a light gasp of indignation and Sasha elbowed him to be quiet. Fortunately neither Jon nor Martin seemed to notice.
“They’re just trying to help. You’re being ridiculous.”
“You’re being… no. I’m not going to… It’s fine. You’re free to do whatever you want with whoever you want, of course.”
“Jon…”
There was a moment of silence. A long moment of complete and utter silence. No sound escaped the room. Tim and Sasha exchanged quizzical looks, completely at a loss as to what could be happening that was so quiet, for so long.
Then Martin murmured something far too low for them to hear.
“You don’t have to,” Jon replied, sounding much softer. “I don’t want to… they really do like you, don’t they?”
“They like you, too. I’m sure they do. You’re just… You overcompensate a little. Maybe dial it back a bit?”
“I don’t want them to think–”
“Yeah, I know. And you know what I think of that.”
“We’re not having this discussion again.”
“Then take a moment and just calm down,” Martin said firmly. “Just get through today and tomorrow will be easier.”
“Alright.” There was another moment of silence, this one mercifully short. “Thank you.”
“Don’t fret it. I’ll, um…”
“Oh, yes the tea. Thank you.”
The faint sounds of Martin gathering up cups was enough warning for Tim and Sasha to scamper back to their desks. Martin headed straight for the kitchen, and Sasha scooted her chair closer to Tim’s. “What do you make of that?”
“Jon clearly didn’t like that we took Martin out. Or that we went without him? Maybe?”
“He mentioned pimping Martin out pretty clearly. I think it was taking him out at all.”
Tim shifted uncomfortably. “I… um, I might have kind of hit on him.”
“What?” Sasha squeaked before ducking her head and lowering her voice. “What? You never told me that.”
“It was while you were chatting up other-Sasha. He said I was the best-looking bloke there and it went to my head. I totally made a move.”
“…and?”
“And he blew me off like an expert. All ‘I hate myself for saying no’ and ‘you’re sooo sweet, Tim’. It was masterful.”
Sasha looked impressed. “Huh. Maybe that’s Jon’s problem, then?”
“No, Jon’s problem is that he’s an irascible prig.”
Sasha snickered and lightly slapped Tim’s arm. “Maybe, but I can easily imagine him reading a management book that states that ‘interpersonal relationships between subordinates cause friction within the team and should be strongly discouraged’ and take it to heart.”
“Oh god, he would.” Tim frowned. “But then why’d he be so snappy with you?”
“Dunno.” Sasha shrugged. “He’s Jon?”
Tim would have replied, but Martin chose that moment to walk out of the kitchen, eyes narrowing as he saw them huddled together. “What’re you two talking about?”
Sasha looked at Tim and then cheerfully threw him under the bus. “You turned down Tim?”
Martin’s eyes immediately widened and his cheeks coloured. “Tim!”
“What? I… Look, it just slipped out, but I told Sasha you were a total gentleman about it!”
“It just slipped out?”
“I’m a sharer!”
Sasha giggled. “What face did he make?”
“I don’t remember,” Martin said, his eyes doing a shifty thing. “I was kind of drunk at the time.”
“Don’t give me that, you’re a terrible liar,” Sasha said. “Was it this face?” She looked comically and dramatically shocked, her hands flying to he base of her throat as if to clutch non-existent pearls. “Or this one?” She made an exaggerated pout that didn’t survive the twitching of her lips in repressed laughter.
“You’re terrible,” Tim told her. “And it was more like this.” He smouldered at Martin in such an overblown way that all three of them collapsed into giggles.
Sasha recovered first. “So what was it? The looks? The personality? The fact that we work together in a tiny insular community where gossip spreads like wildfire? What turned you off?”
Martin shrugged. “I never say yes to anything when I’m drunk. Not since I was sixteen.”
“What happened when you were sixteen?” Tim asked eagerly. “Wait. Looks? Sasha, I will give you insular community and personality, but I am an eight on the looks scale. Nine if I put in proper effort!”
“You’ll give me personality, hm?”
“Wait, wait,” Tim said, mentally jumping around. “You turned me down because we were drunk? Meaning I have a chance with sober-Martin?”
Sasha cracked up again at the apologetic expression on Martin’s face before he even said anything. Tim braced himself for whatever Martin was about to say.
“Actually, I’m in a relationship right now,” Martin said. “And I’m kind of a monogamous sort of guy? So.”
Tim’s jaw gave a small spasm. “You could have led with that.”
Sasha was a little more focused. “Who? When? For how long? What’re they like? Do we know them?”
“Sorry, Tim,” Martin said. “I wasn’t sure what we were until… I’m still not sure if I should say anything… It’s honestly mostly been, like, a physical thing? He’s not great with expressing emotion, so we’ve mostly been just…” Martin’s hands made some vaguely suggestive movements. “But it turns out it was more serious than I thought and he was more into it than I expected and we’ve both been…” He trailed off, staring dreamily into the distance. “He said he loved me for the first time today.”
“What about Jon?” Tim said, while Sasha cooed. “You’ve been mooning over him for months!”
Martin looked startled for a moment before settling into flustered. “Well, I… I mean. Looking’s free!”
Sasha snorted. “Never mind Jon, tell us about your man. What’s he like?”
“Emotionally constipated from the sounds of it,” Tim grumbled, not entirely sure why he was so put out by Martin’s affections being directed away from Jon. It wasn’t like he was invested in Martin’s hopeless one-sided pining or anything. He mentally chided himself to buck up. “Just tell me he’s not as handsome as me. Lie, if you must.”
“Outside of Hollywood, no one’s as handsome as you, Tim,” Martin deflected. “But you’re not wrong – he’s pretty emotionally constipated. Terrible workaholic, too. And just the worst sense of humour, all situational irony and dry wit. Not a pun in sight.”
“Don’t you have a type,” Sasha teased, tittering at Martin’s blush. “How long have you known him?”
“A few years, but we only started…” The hand gestures were back. “A few months ago. And, like I said, we’ve only been on the same page relationship-wise for a day. Before that I was just happy with whatever he’d give me, while he thought we were already pretty serious. I’m still kind of… dazed? Like I woke up single in the best friends-with-benefits situation I could have asked for and now I have a boyfriend. It’s… surreal.”
He was so happy. And Martin’s happiness had always been infectious. Sasha leaned against Tim and smiled, as they basked in Martin’s happy glow.
Not even Jon coming out of his office at that moment dimmed the communal happiness. Much.
“This doesn’t look like working,” Jon said, but his tone was more cautious than irritated.
Sasha sat up. “We were just congratulating Martin on…” She paused. “On something nice that happened.” She wasn’t about to out Martin if he didn’t want her to.
Jon frowned lightly. “Oh?”
“I, uh, told them about… um. My boyfriend?” Martin said tentatively.
Jon’s face paled.
It seemed unfair. Jon had made it pretty clear that he had no interest in Martin, and it wasn’t as if Martin hadn’t given him plenty of chances. There was no chance he was homophobic, with how eye-rollingly accepting he’d been of Tim’s effusive bisexuality. Tim grinned. “Apparently they’re getting serious.”
“Oh,” Jon said flatly. “Are they.”
Martin shifted awkwardly and actually tittered. Sasha put a supportive hand on his arm. “It’s adorable. And if you have a problem with it…”
“I don’t recall having any problems,” Jon said and Martin snorted with laughter before slapping his hand over his mouth. “But I hardly feel that discussing this at work is appropriate.”
“You’re killing me,” Martin wheezed out between suppressed giggles. He seemed to be experiencing a different conversation than the rest of them. Except maybe Jon, whose lips were twitching in the same way they did when Tim went completely over the top in trying to make him laugh, or Sasha got in a sly dig that landed perfectly in his wheelhouse.
His voice, however was completely even. “Any further discussions around Martin’s relationship should happen exclusively during breaks or after work. Is that understood?”
“You massive hypocrite,” Martin stammered out, getting his giggles under control. “Alright. Okay. We’ll get back to work. Sorry, Jon.”
“No…” Sasha said slowly. “No, I’m not going back to work until you two explain what’s going on.”
Jon’s eyes narrowed at Martin and Martin burst into giggles again. “Sorry! Sorry, sorry…” It took Martin almost a full minute to calm himself. “Um. I just. I’ll just. Yeah.” He waved his hands helplessly and stumbled towards the kitchen to get himself under control.
Jon’s glare followed him. “Coward.”
“You’re not getting out of it that easily,” Tim said. Sasha nodded emphatically. “What’s up, Jon?”
“Other than Martin’s serious boyfriend? Well, there’s still your jobs.”
“Don’t give me that,” Sasha snapped. “What was that between you and Martin?”
There was that little Jon smile, the one that said ‘I refuse to admit how amused I am’, the one that always made Tim and Sasha feel like they’d won a prize. Only this time they had no idea why he was smiling, and that was infuriating. It was there and gone, replaced by Jon’s scowl. “I will address Martin’s conduct with him at a later time. For now, I would appreciate it if everyone could get back to their work.”
Sasha and Tim protested, but Jon retreated to his office and refused to come out. Martin also refused to answer any questions, but at least was much nicer about it. Sasha spent most of the day, between her work which she was doing, glaring at Jon’s office door, while Tim pouted aggressively at Martin. Both were equally effective, and by the end of the day, Tim was resentfully resigned to remaining in the dark.
Until Sasha pulled him aside as they were leaving and ducked into Document Storage, leaving the door open a crack and putting a finger to her lips. Tim was quick enough to catch on and huddled next to her as they listened to Martin finish up and start washing the tea cups in the kitchen. They didn’t have long to wait until Jon poked his head out of his office and joined him.
“They’re gone?” Jon asked. Neither Tim nor Sasha could hear Martin’s reply. “I’m not impressed by that stunt you pulled today, by the way.”
Martin laughed, an easy, happy sound. “I didn’t mean for it to get that far. And you weren’t helping, with your sardonic comments and double entendres. Inappropriate during work hours, like I’ve never sucked you off in between recording statements.”
Tim barely got his hand over his mouth in time to muffle his gasp. Sasha stared at him with huge eyes, silently asking if he’d heard the same thing she had.
“We’ve mostly kept our activities to before or after business hours,” Jon said primly, before chucking fondly. “Although we were rather less than circumspect about where we fucked in the early days. I still can’t believe you actually snapped a corner off Tim’s desk when you came. You’re just lucky I’m able to get in after hours so we could buy that wood glue.”
“That wasn’t my fault! These desks have to be about fifty years old and plywood. I told you that they wouldn’t hold up.”
“If I recall correctly, you said that your desk wouldn’t hold up, and when I suggested Tim’s you said, and I quote, It’s worth a shot, I guess.”
“Shut up!” Martin said, laughing, and there was a long period of relative quiet that Tim and Sasha were able to easily fill with their imaginations.
Jon’s voice, when it returned, sounded mostly thoughtful. “I very much appreciate that we fuck in proper beds now, but I’m feeling somewhat…”
“…nostalgic?” Martin said. “Me too. Your office?”
“I do love you. I’m sorry you doubted it. I did think I was showing it, I’m just…”
“Bad with words, I know,” Martin said. Tim and Sasha ducked back as Martin and Jon made their way from the kitchen back to Jon’s office. “You did show it, I just couldn’t believe it. And I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“I suppose we’ve both been rather foolish,” Jon said, and the sound of the door closing cut Martin’s reply off.
Tim and Sasha quietly snuck out. It wasn’t until they were outside the building that either of them felt safe to say anything.
“Those little shits!” Tim yelled, and Sasha, who’d been about to say something similar, nearly collapsed with laughter.
“No, no,” she managed between giggles. “It’s fine, it’s just…” Her eyes hardened, even as her grin stretched from ear to ear. “How are we going to get our revenge?”
“You really are the best,” Tim said. “Okay, so they don’t know that we know, right?” He grabbed Sasha’s hand and pulled her towards one of their go-to local dives for some strategic planning. By the end of the night, they had a plan to torment the lovebirds with subtle innuendo until they cracked. They also had a bet on as to who would crack first. Tim had money riding on Martin, but still planned to harass Jon as much as he could – how dare he successfully hide his love life from Tim! Tim thought they’d been friends, of a sort.
This betrayal called for battle. And he and Sasha were more than ready.
Re: Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-20 07:43 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-21 06:50 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-20 11:38 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-21 06:51 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-27 10:02 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: jon/martin, secret relationship, misunderstandings 3/3
Date: 2021-05-27 11:20 pm (UTC)